Feel Good About Yourself
How many times have you gone out of your way to accommodate someone, only to later regret that you did not honor your time, your options, even yourself? How often do you feel that there is not enough time for you because you are so busy helping others? Often, there’s not enough time to exercise, to eat healthy, to do what gives you joy because you have over-committed to everyone else. How often are you last on your list, when you should be first? Many of us could use healthier ways to respond to people and situations. It requires a better awareness of how to set our own personal boundaries.
When we are overly compliant to others, we feel as if we are pleasing them; however, it is often to our own detriment. For those who tend to be accommodators or pleasers, it is often difficult to say “No.” I usually suggest that we start by saying, “Not now.” It is so much easier to postpone a decision than to draw a hard line in the sand. However, as we develop a few skills that help us draw those lines and to set healthy boundaries, we’ll feel better about ourselves, and cause others to respect us more too.
- Think… How did you feel the last time you accommodated someone without regard for yourself? Were you happy with what you agreed to do or were you frustrated for not honoring yourself?
- Pause… take your time… think before you commit. Listen to your inner wisdom. If you feel at all uncomfortable, pay attention. That pregnant pause is of extreme value to give you the necessary time to check your schedule, and really see if you can take the time.
- Be non-committal. It is ok to say, “I’ll think about it and get back to you.” “Not right now… maybe later.” Once you get comfortable with setting boundaries, it becomes easy.
- Let go of that guilty feeling. Your life is your life. When someone attempts to take advantage of you, when they try to control you or make you feel guilty, they are stepping over the line. Setting boundaries is a healthy way to honor yourself.
- If someone steps over the line… is overly persistent, pushy, or offensive… stay calm, move on, hang up, or walk away. Their garbage is theirs—let them dump it elsewhere.
- Schedule time for yourself. “Me” time is important too. When you actually put the time in your schedule, you can readily see what time is available to offer help to others… with joy.
- Balance your time and energy wisely. There are only so many hours in a day. When we overcommit, we feel drained, we can get run down, and end up sick. Stay healthy.
Take care of you first. Be grateful for who you are by honoring that caring person inside. Those who truly appreciate you will honor your time, respect your opinions, and be grateful for having you in their life.
If you need a little confidence to help establish healthy boundaries, please give us a call at 1-884-777-7812 for a session or tune-up. You can also schedule a session at www.LoisHermann.com/contact
I honor and am ever grateful for you.
Blessings of Hope,
Stress and anxiety were affecting everything in my life. It was like a block, holding me back from true success in my professional and personal life. I learned to be more present, more relaxed, and more in control. The sessions didn’t change my work load, but they changed how I viewed it.
In my personal life, the two don’t clash any more. I’m setting healthy boundaries. The process was fantastic, I felt very comfortable and relaxed. Lois offers a great mix of hypnosis work and professional coaching. I would absolutely recommend Lois Hermann to anyone struggling with business-related stress.
Jeremy F. – Regional Sales Manager