statue of liberty

Hope your Independence Day was happy. Were you able to celebrate and declare your independence? Think about what our country celebrates on July 4th. Many years ago, our founding fathers and mothers struggled against oppression to gain independence from tyranny. For generations, individuals of many races, genders, age, and preferences have struggled to gain independence from bigotry, racism and power-hungry people. Many are succeeding in their fight to gain independence from others in society. Much more needs to be done to help.

Something that many suffer with at times is the struggle against ourselves. This includes the worry, the fear, the sadness, the stress over what has happened or what might happen. When we live in the pain of the past or are anxious about what may be in the future, we create an inner conflict that is debilitating to ourselves. The inner struggle causes a mental madness that can keep us stuck in negative thought patterns. We need to gain our own independence from that inner critique, from those voices in our head that tear us up, keep us down, and make us feel bad about ourselves. If this happens to you, is it about time to gain your independence from those negative thoughts and release your mind from your own stinking thinking?

I have often said that the mind cannot think of two things at the same time. Since negative thoughts of the couldas, wouldas, and should-as in our past take us down the spiral path to a defeated attitude, why do we even waste one precious minute of time on those old destructive thoughts? Because it has become a habit, that’s why.

Today, I challenge you to assert yourself… to declare your independence from those negative thoughts. Change your thoughts…change your habits…change your world. We all have old sad memories, just let them go and focus on the good ones you can find. Allow yourself to focus your awareness…your thinking…your mind on positive cheerful thoughts. You can do it. It is simply a matter of changing your mind. Start thinking about or remembering a time in your life when something really nice or wonderful happened to you. A time when you felt really happy, healthy and joyful. Really get into the feeling of that happy time and notice how your body responds. Notice the colors associated with the feeling, maybe the sounds, the smells and most importantly the pleasant feelings. Remember those feelings. Keep them ready to use any time you want to re-experience the feelings of joy.

Summertime is a wonderful time to connect with fond memories of family and friends. When relatives get together they so enjoy recalling stories from the good old days. Many are even captivated by their genealogical family tree, spending time investigating and discovering old memories of relatives they never even knew. It is interesting to imagine what it was like for our ancestors, to retrace their steps, look at their old homes, and even find their gravestones. It is even better to be inspired by the actions that they took that brought us to this point in our lives.

Sharing stories, intriguing sagas, and sometimes tall tales with others on the journey gives us a sense of connectedness, of fitting in, and feelings of belonging. Since our basic human needs are to live, love and belong, when we are around our own birth or choice family, we can relax into a feeling of being connected. As we become the observer of the assorted people and their own individual needs, we can take the pressure off of self and simply allow ourselves to be.

When we learn to turn off the “monkey mind” that ceaselessly chatters and demands that we constantly perform, we can be at peace with ourselves. We can congratulate ourselves for who we are and what we have done to help others. We treat ourselves as we do our children and friends and we learn to become our own best friend.

So take some time during this wonderful summer season to gain your independence. Change your thoughts to happy ones…think of the goodness around you and choose to feel joy. If you have a sense of being “stuck in the muck,” please know that I am here to help you get clear.

Many Blessings,

Lois